Circle of Oneness

Getting to the nitty gritty of my synchronicities, I think the following stories encapsulate what was being said. They are wonderful. Literally wonder full. To live out their truth would lead to a life full of magic, peace and love.

Picture me pacing around a huge park. Lap 3. Muttering affirmations to boost my faith. I needed healing but this time I was scared. This was early on in these cosmic teachings. I haven’t shared my stories in a linear fashion. I still didn’t understand not to have faith in my faith back then. I’m still not sure if I totally grasp how not to.

Each word, each step, made me feel further away rather than closer to certainty. It felt like the harder my faith hands tried to grip, the more they slipped. This had been going on for months and I was close to panic. I had been taught that if you doubt you do without, not because God/The Universe doesn’t want to flow it to you, but because you are blocking it. It was like telling a terrified child that their fear pushes their parent away. That their parent wants to get to them but can’t. So the child becomes terrified of being terrified. It was a nasty loop and I was feeling orphaned from my Source which led to an existential crisis like nothing I’d ever known. For the first time in my life I felt separated from my Source, which later led to a break down, but that’s another story.

So, during a frantic loop of this park, suddenly a voice boomed within me, and I do mean boom. It surprised me so much that I stopped in my tracks. I can still hear it now when I think back. I can hear and feel its texture. Its incredible power. It simply said “Why are you trying so hard when we are already one?” My head seemed to move itself and look down at my feet. There was a perfectly circular piece of rough wood, in the shape of an O right by my toes. I bent over, picked it up and simply stared at it.

My whole being was silenced. Everything I had ever learned and everything I had been trying to do was totally wiped from the slate. I had no idea what the words meant. Sometimes to be silenced is the first step. It was awesome. It’s such a rare thing. I still treasure the silence of awe.